December

Serrrrriously... I have been so busy working that I haven't had time to chat with all of you. I write for a newspaper and from December 1 to December 22, I have had something almost every day for work or family. Then I had a few days off for Christmas but have spent some of them writing up articles. Back at it on the 28th for Silver Stick (Hockey Tournament.)

I'm still here, still alive-I swear! Feeling very out of shape and not so fab since I've slacked a lot in the last...ohhhh...year. I'm still doing Pilates/yoga twice a week but I USED to do Zumba and run as well (Zumba in our town got cancelled.) Since I started working and we had a very cold winter, my running took a serious downhill slide. Hubs and I went shopping and got new shoes (I also got some new running pants for Christmas):

Obviously, I got a new sweater too...and it is not a match LOL I don't plan to run in the sweater anyway. (You can see my full calendar there behind me.)

Our new shoes are pretty fab too actually: 

The kids had a good Christmas (as did we) and we love our new house (did I mention we moved?) so Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from us!! <3 p="">

xoxo

TLJ

Another Reminder to Myself

Today, I really need to remind myself to appreciate how far I've come. I worry too much about where I'm going. I am extremely hard on myself; I've been doing yoga every day and keeping a yoga journal to work through this. Yoga, for me, is a beautiful escape. I can't focus on the outside world if I'm breathing and focusing all of my energy into moving from pose to pose. I can't focus on hating my body if it's serving me so well.
My first "leap" was the moment I finally moved into headstand (against the wall-working on doing it without the support of the wall); I didn't think about the coulds and shoulds and musts. I just DID it. I wrote that day: "I finally lifted past that fear and into headstand...I am absolutely elated over it. The joy of achieving this feat that has eluded me for quite some time now is beyond explanation."
Taking my yoga a step further, now that I've found some courage in my poses, I am working towards just BEING in the moment. I'm learning to let go of the thoughts and to just BE in poses. It's liberating but it's a constantly ongoing process for me. Giving myself permission to LET GO is very, very difficult. I NEED to let myself be, to stop creating havoc in my own poor brain and accept me as I am. Recently, I did an outdoor yoga session and that was an experience I would be willing to do over and over again. With the sun beaming down on me and the frogs croaking in the creek, I didn't care about the people behind me or nearby me. I cared nothing about how I measured up. I cared only about the practice...and isn't that what it's really about?

Namaste.

Reminder to Myself

April 2012, June 2012, October 2012

54 pounds down in the 13 months

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Our latest issue is out!! Please come and read it. It's an amazing magazine with ideas, photography, art and a lot of heart:
http://www.adistinctivestyle.com/i/85709

have you ever just "felt" a book? do literary works ever leave impressions on you that stick but can't particularly be expressed in words? this is what i want to impress on people who read my works/book. i want to leave something with them, even if they don't remember the exact words. i want to give them a feeling that they've been there, that they've read something from me. i feel that way pretty often about things i see or read, but i'm a writer so maybe that's just part of a writer's personality? to take from everything they see or read or hear? to take some sort of lasting ... something?

Reminder for me

as a reminder to myself that i AM working hard and i AM making progress bc no one is as hard on me as i am on myself. no one.

this is me weeks after having Lia, baby #3

this is me recently:

see my funny little man (baby #2) behind me?

so far to go but so much achieved...yet, i still beat myself up. every day, i tell myself:

you're not good enough

you'll never be like the other moms

your children are going to be ashamed of you

no one can tell how far you've come; therefore, you haven't come far at all

all these thoughts run through my head and sometimes i feel so lonely. even with all of my accomplishments and everything i do, i tell myself it's not enough. i am not good enough.

how, readers, do you break this cycle? how do you celebrate yourself?

here's a start for me. i love that i:

taught myself to jog. it's maybe not that far but for me, it's amazing. when i started, i worked up to about 2k of my 3-4k walk and i'm slowly climbing back up there again now that i'm not pregnant anymore.

work out 3 times a week at the very least

i couldn't come up with anything else but it's a start, right?

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Giveaway!!!

Do you like tea? I do and I think some of you do too, so head on over to my friend's blog and enter her giveaway :)

Giveaway