Holding Space : April at BoT Yoga

What IS She Doing?

Have you ever wondered what your teacher is doing during meditation? I know I used to fidget and lose focus, because I was wondering if she was looking at me or if she'd dozed off or if she was having a snack...I would peek sometimes to see what she was up to, but now that I teach, I understand what happens during meditation.

As a teacher, I hold space for you. It's as simple as that. I'm breathing with you, meditating along with you, speaking now and then to help you along the way, and enjoying the peace of the moment. That's it. Mostly, I am quietly sitting, creating what I hope is a blissful, safe space for you.

Meditating before a personal yoga session

What is Meditation Like for Me? 

Now maybe you're wondering what meditation is like for me. Sometimes, I sit peacefully, just enjoying a quiet moment. Other times, I become caught up in it, aware of my surroundings but dropping into a state of bliss, where I feel content and still. Sometimes that only happens for a second. Even when I cannot reach that state of bliss, I allow myself to just sit anyway, no judgement of my state of mind and no expectations. No one meditation session is right or perfect; what matters is that I take a moment to accept whatever comes up for me without judgement, attachment or reaction.

How Long Did It Take?

Now maybe you're wondering how long it took to get to the point I'm at now in my meditation journey. A few years ago, I actually used to leave class before meditation started! I thought I just wasn't into it, it wasn't my "thing," I just couldn't lie down for that long... Man, was I wrong. I WAS able to lie still and it definitely was my thing. What changed? My teacher now, who I've been with consistently for about five years, told me that I needed to lie still and just let it come. That changed everything. No one had ever told me just BE completely STILL. Once I learned to lie still and accept what came, I started to really find that few seconds where I'd drop and drift in blissful solitude. 

Most importantly, I'm learning to take that ability to accept what comes without judgement, attachment or reaction into my every day life. I mess up sometimes, forgetting what I know and reacting to situations, but it gets better and better all the time.

No one is perfect, right?

That said, I haven't answered the question. I have been doing yoga for over 10 years, off and on for pregnancies and whatnot. It has really been the last five years that have made the difference. I had my moments here and there over the years but it all really came together after that "aha" moment in which my teacher told me to be still.
There really is no timeline. It doesn't matter. This isn't a race. 

Yours,

T.